PATIENCE

I routinely tell people that patience may be one of my less-developed Fruit of the Spirit.  I don’t think I’m probably alone in that and yes, that makes me feel better.

I’ve asked God to help me with patience and when I’ve admitted that, someone nearby always reminds me to be careful what I ask for.

Some years ago I had a Master’s Class in Patience when I had a scheduled trip to Colorado Springs.

As I was ready to leave home for the airport I got a call saying my flight to Denver had been cancelled due to mechanical problems. I had planned to fly into Denver and then drive to the Springs.  So I re-scheduled a flight directly into Colorado Springs instead.  It was scheduled to arrive at the same time my original Denver flight had been scheduled.

This was going to work out great.

When I got to the airport that morning, the crowds were as bad as I'd ever seen them.  Competitor American Airlines had canceled most of their flights due to some internal problem with airline industry standards.

Not to worry.  I had a seat on a United flight.  We were good.

When I got to check in, it seemed they didn't have me on their flight list.  I explained to them about my re-booking from the Denver flight and duly pounded my fist on the counter in a very Christian way to no avail. I had lost my seat on the Springs flight and was now jockeying with all the canceled American Airlines passengers trying to get seats on other flights.

They told me not to worry - as a United customer I would be at the top of any stand-by list for the next flight to Denver, scheduled for 90 minutes.  Super.

I got to the gate and looked up at the monitor announcing the stand-by list, where I was expected to be ‘at the top.’  But when the stand-by list flashed on the screen, I found myself #7 out of 45.  Well — that wasn’t the ‘top,.’  That wasn’t even in the top 15%.

When I inquired about this travesty of justice, I discovered it had something to do with preferred customers (not me), high ranking mileage customers (not me), VIPs (not me), people who don't pound their fists on airport counters (not me) and blonde-haired people (not me).

I did not end up on that flight either, but was assured the next flight was all mine - just two hours later.

So, I hung around O-Hare -- read -- dozed -- watched people -- played games on my phone — stared at one guy as he ate three chili dogs — took my pulse a few hundred times — felt my impatience steaming up by the second -- and by the time I got to the new gate for Denver, found I had slipped from #17 to #38 on stand-by.

I didn't make that flight either. There was yet another Denver flight 35 minutes later, so I rushed to that gate and found there were now 162 stand-by passengers and I had slipped to #88 - in the bottom half.

There was one more flight that day to Denver - leaving two hours later yet.  I opted out of that flight voluntarily rather than show up and find myself #567 on a stand-by list of 2,336.

So I went back to the original United Airlines desk to see if I could for sure, 1000%, be guaranteed to be on the first flight out the following morning to Denver, Colorado Springs, Cheyenne, Salt Lake City, Saskatchewan or Belize.  I’ll take anything, I told them.

After an hour standing there, I got my ironclad ticket.  I drove the 50 minute trip home to my sweet bed - got there around 9:30p and flopped in bed like a wet rag, entirely defeated.

The first flight out the next day departed at 6a, so I was up before 3a to shower and get to the airport - park in Economy Lot Z - take the bus to the shuttle - take the shuttle to the terminal - and walk a country mile inside the terminal to the gate.

First I navigated security, which insisted I had some mysterious piece of metal imbedded inside my pancreas according to their high-tech machinery.  After proving I didn’t, and after putting all my clothes back on, I made my way to the gate, with noticeable steam rising from the top of my head.

I thought I'd get a little breakfast at the terminal McDonald's, since I had an hour to wait before the sun came up, so I got a #4 meal (you don't need to know what that is). But when I bit into it, it was a #2.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

Finally -- onto the plane.  It was one of those setups with 2 seats - 3 seats - 2 seats (7 seats across).  My seat - to welcome all 6'5" of me - was situated in the center of the 3-seat grouping.  I’m tall, but the man sitting directly in front of me was the tallest human I had ever seen and evidently with a high waistline up to his neck, because when he reclined his seat all the way back two minutes into the flight, his big bald head was several feet over the top of the seat and nearly laying in my lap.  I could see the veins in the top of his head and I had the most unnatural urge to trace the map of Italy on it, which his veins seemed to suggest.

He laid there the entire two plus hour flight - all the way to touchdown.  The flight attendants didn't seem to even realize as they passed by 42 times prepping for landing that he hadn’t placed it in the upright position.  Both his loud snoring and my intense glaring escaped them.

Last but not least, there were only two children on the entire flight — sitting directly behind me.  Their parents didn’t seem to notice or particularly care that the little boy was rhythmically kicking the back of my seat for the duration - or that the little girl sitting next to him had this delightful habit of crying out, ‘Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,’ without Mommy responding.  It was all I could do not to turn around and shout: “MOMMY!  PLEASE!”

When we touched down in Denver - the weather was 15 degrees and it was snowing.  It wasn’t even Winter.

Be careful what you pray for.  God is listening.

"The Fruit of the Spirit is ... PATIENCE ... "